I first posted this letter years ago, and several more times in the next few years. In fact, there are so many more I ask Santa about what we endured this year 2024, but I intend to keep my requests simple as usual.
Dear Santa,
All you want this Christmas is for you to take this diabetes away. I'm so tired now. Sometimes all these injections leave me black and blue, and the decision I have to make. I hardly know if I'm losing estrogen during menopause or if I'm sweating because my blood sugar level is crashing at 50! And we can talk… I mean keeping track of how many carbohydrates are on ravioli or bread sticks, or how many carbohydrates are in fried calamari to attend a company Christmas party I will. One day, I just want to lie down and shoot myself. Please, Santa, will you take this diabetes away?
From the heart,
Liber
Dear Liba,
Sorry for the hard work during my favorite season. I just want people to sing carols, drink eggs, and feel energized. Unfortunately, my contract does not allow me to sabotage natural events in life. So, my suggestion is to look under your Hanukkah bushes after you open your holiday gift and see the gifts that will cause diabetes. You may have to watch it for a few days, so why not schedule it during the week between Christmas and New Years while you have downtime? This will allow you to start a new year.
I wish you good luck,
Santa and the gang
Dear Santa,
My diabetes gift? What are you crazy? Mesh moth? Thank you, but thank you!
Liber
Dear Rabbi,
I'm looking for your wise advice. I wrote to Santa to take away my diabetes, but he was of no use at all. Certainly, you who have studied so much and represented our people who have suffered throughout history can help me with this terrible diabetes. That's such a tension, rabbi. When you want to light a Sabbath candle, you must test your blood sugar levels. I had forgotten about this high holy day. Because I was very busy counting carbs with choy, bagels and honey cakes. Rabbi, please, what kind of comfort can you offer me? What is the word of wisdom? Certainly you would tell me to forget about this diabetes and study the Torah, right?
Please write it right away,
Liber
Dear Liba,
Santa and I have just returned from the Caribbean and he told me about your difficulties. He said you told you you should look for your diabetes gift. I agree with Santa, there are many gifts you can see in diabetes if you look. For one thing, my child, you no longer need to drink traditional Manishouwitz holiday wine. All lawyers agree that it is too sweet. Bring out Chardonnay!
When Santa asks you to look for a gift for your diabetes, he says that he is not saying this because you are not Catholic and he has nothing to you. He speaks like a Buddhist, like our brother. He has publicly declared that if you are looking for something positive that can bring to your life, there is a gift to everything.
Let's talk about my kids. My own Aunt Sheila had diabetes and after she stopped cubeching she went to the spa and learned how to eat healthy. She went shopping along Rodeo Drive, bought some cute little jogging clothes and started running. On a jogging by the sea, she met her fourth husband, Marvin, and they are very happy. They moved to a $6,000,000 mansion in Jupiter, Florida. Right next to Burt Reynolds! Everyone is plotting! Darling girls, find a gift for your diabetes. Honestly, you're not orthodox, so all I have is these great wigs sold by my cousin Shlomo. And really, it's not so comfortable to whine.
Shabat Shalom
Rabbi, Local Union 107
Dear Rabbi,
I thought about what you and Santa said and decided to become a Buddhist. I got a book about the Dalai Lama, tHe is the art of happiness. He said, “Happiness is a butterfly, and when pursued, it is always beyond your grasp, but if you sit quietly, you may descend on you,” I told my friend Joe, I. I like butterflies and I like robes, so these are not bad gifts. Joe says that the quote means we are the source of our happiness, and that happiness only comes from within us, regardless of what happens in our lives. Ta. Hmm, I said, maybe I need to learn more. So I booked a flight to Tibet. Now, if I didn't have to drag all this damn diabetic stuff along with me…ohm…aaaah…oy. Liber