I have previously talked about the brainwashing that takes place in the diabetes online community. How finding what seems like a good support group on Facebook or Twitter can turn into a place of shame and despair. This happened to me.
We’re told to read low-carb books, to avoid this or that, to make sure our run times are between such and such, to compare ourselves to others or to a perfect flatline or A1c. After that, I started feeling like everything I was doing was doomed. Fail. To make matters worse, my diabetes doctor agreed that my plan to eat avocados, eggs, and five types of green vegetables was a good idea because my numbers were so good.
I didn’t know that I could “fire” CDE, leave the Facebook group, and stop reading those books. I was so desperate for what I was doing to work that I didn’t know there were any other answers. The situation was not as hopeless as they had felt. I was so busy telling myself about my diabetes management and what it was like to live with diabetes that I couldn’t be honest with myself.
Therein lies the reality of living with diabetes and the story I was telling myself. In fact, my relationship with diabetes seemed completely at odds with how I approached the rest of my life.
tapas
Fortunately, things have changed because life is not static and I am someone who has always been willing to try again, no matter how difficult it may seem.
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Before I fully decided to make a conscious effort to see things differently, I found myself drawn to Instagram posts and meaningful tweets. I’ve read about someone trying a different way of eating or tweaking their bolus or basal rate. Or maybe you found a new health care provider or tried telemedicine at a new diabetes clinic out of state. Then someone recommended a helpful book or an enlightening podcast.
Diabetes psychologisteffort
That meant weeks of trial and error to get the right insulin-to-carbohydrate ratio for different foods. A desire to try more adventurous exercise. Dare to go lower or higher, even if it feels scary. I reframed what I told myself about my A1c and range, and quit Facebook groups that didn’t align with my broader vision.
The efforts slowly but surely paid off. I can now eat a variety of foods again, including my favorite sourdough toast with avocado. I’ve been on some adventurous walks in wild Africa. Both the lows and highs feel more relaxed, and I’m able to bounce back faster from even the slightest setbacks. Most importantly, I have a sustainable strategy and continue to seek support when I get stuck.
I might be juggling cats while riding a unicycle on a leaky boat in a stormy ocean, but oh, I get this!
respectfully
rachel